1800 ACRES
//
Linda buys a ranch in West Texas to reclaim something lost.
Her claim to the land is challenged, giving rise to a host of hidden desires and impulses.
Produced at Riverside Studios in London. Directed by Alex Helfrecht
Read at The Lark Play Development Center. Directed by Daniella Topol.
Workshopped at The Old Vic Theatre in London as part of the Old Vic New Voices US/UK Exchange. Directed by Rachel Briscoe
1.
(Ever so slightly, the dirt seems to be breathing.)
2.
(In a ranch house in West Texas, around 10pm, Chris and Gus play cards.)
GUS
You ever get tired of playing cards?
CHRIS
Winning ain’t so bad.
Winning ain’t so bad.
GUS
I mean like you ever think about spending time off the ranch?
CHRIS
Like, what? Like heading down to Juarez?
Like, what? Like heading down to Juarez?
GUS
Yeah. Juarez, or, even a little bit further away.
Yeah. Juarez, or, even a little bit further away.
CHRIS
What, like down into Mexico City? It’s all polluted down there.
What, like down into Mexico City? It’s all polluted down there.
GUS
Or, other directions. It doesn’t have to be Mexico.
Or, other directions. It doesn’t have to be Mexico.
CHRIS
I don’t know Gus. It’s a lot of fun sitting here beating you at cards.
I don’t know Gus. It’s a lot of fun sitting here beating you at cards.
GUS
Gets boring for me, letting you win.
Gets boring for me, letting you win.
CHRIS
You wish.
You wish.
GUS
You ever thought about heading into some other kind of work?
You ever thought about heading into some other kind of work?
CHRIS
I thought about being a card shark in the big city, stealing the life savings of old folks like you.
I thought about being a card shark in the big city, stealing the life savings of old folks like you.
(Gus looks at Chris, frustrated.)
CHRIS
Have you any twos?
Have you any twos?
GUS
Go fish.
Go fish.
(Chris draws a card.)
GUS
(takes a moment) I got a check is what I’m trying to say. I got a check in the mail about a week ago and I haven’t said anything about it.
(takes a moment) I got a check is what I’m trying to say. I got a check in the mail about a week ago and I haven’t said anything about it.
(Outside, a car pulls up.)
CHRIS
What’s that?
What’s that?
GUS
Sounds like a car.
Sounds like a car.
CHRIS
It’s right in front of the house.
It’s right in front of the house.
(They stand to see what it is. We hear car doors open and close, people coming up to the house. Linda and Jacob approach from the other side of the house’s screen door.)
LINDA
Hello?
Hello?
(she knocks and opens the door.)
(entering) Can we come in?
CHRIS
Can I help you?
Can I help you?
LINDA
You must be August.
You must be August.
CHRIS
August? Who are you?
August? Who are you?
LINDA
I’m Linda. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m sorry we’re so late.
I’m Linda. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m sorry we’re so late.
CHRIS
You must be lost. What is it you’re looking for?
You must be lost. What is it you’re looking for?
LINDA
The ranch house.
The ranch house.
CHRIS
Gus?
Gus?
LINDA
I see. (to Gus.) You must be August, then.
I see. (to Gus.) You must be August, then.
GUS
Gus.
Gus.
LINDA
It’s a pleasure.
It’s a pleasure.
GUS
pleasure.
pleasure.
CHRIS
You know these people?
You know these people?
LINDA
This is my son, Jacob.
This is my son, Jacob.
(Gus shakes Jacob’s hand.)
GUS
Howdy.
Howdy.
LINDA
Say hello, Jacob.
Say hello, Jacob.
JACOB
Hi.
LINDA
Sorry, it’s been a long ride in the car. We did ten hours today. I hope we’re not getting in too late.
GUS
You come through Oklahoma?
You come through Oklahoma?
LINDA
No, we wound up taking a friend’s suggestion. We wanted to see Louisiana, so we took that route.
GUS
Wasn’t sure when you’d be getting in.
CHRIS
Who are you?
Who are you?
LINDA
Do you work with Gus?
Do you work with Gus?
CHRIS
Work with Gus?
Work with Gus?
LINDA
Not the sharpest tool in the shed are you?
Not the sharpest tool in the shed are you?
CHRIS
What the hell’s going on here? Who are you?
What the hell’s going on here? Who are you?
LINDA
I’m Linda. I thought we went over that.
GUS
Miss. He’s Chris Todd, who we talked about on the phone. He’s been living here.
Miss. He’s Chris Todd, who we talked about on the phone. He’s been living here.
CHRIS
“Been living here?”
“Been living here?”
LINDA
Oh. Excuse me, Mr. Todd. I didn’t realize. There must have been some miscommunication.
Oh. Excuse me, Mr. Todd. I didn’t realize. There must have been some miscommunication.
CHRIS
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
LINDA
Jacob, why don’t you go wait in the car, sweetie?
JACOB
What?
LINDA
Go ahead. (Jacob moves towards the door.) Mr. Todd. Chris. I’m sorry to spring this on you like this. Efforts were made to bring this to your attention in a different manner. You see, as of about a month ago, I own this property. I’ve got a deed here I can show you.
CHRIS
You own the property? Gus? Gus – you want to tell this woman she’s out of her mind?
You own the property? Gus? Gus – you want to tell this woman she’s out of her mind?
(Gus says nothing.)
LINDA
Jacob. The car.
(Jacob starts to go, but stays in the room.)
LINDA
If you’ll just look at this deed.
CHRIS
You take a step back.
You take a step back.
LINDA
I understand this might come as a shock. Gus here was supposed to let you know that we were coming.
I understand this might come as a shock. Gus here was supposed to let you know that we were coming.
GUS
I never agreed to that.
I never agreed to that.
CHRIS
You’ve made a mistake. You’ve got the wrong house. You’re gonna have to go.
You’ve made a mistake. You’ve got the wrong house. You’re gonna have to go.
LINDA
Right. That’s sort of the issue.
Right. That’s sort of the issue.
CHRIS
Get out.
Get out.
LINDA
If you take a look here at this deed.
If you take a look here at this deed.
CHRIS
Don’t come at me with that thing.
Don’t come at me with that thing.
GUS
Chris, maybe you should take a look.
Chris, maybe you should take a look.
CHRIS
I don’t think you’ve got a lot to say right now, Gus.
I don’t think you’ve got a lot to say right now, Gus.
LINDA
Look. It’s been a long day. I’m sure we’re all very tired. I know that Jacob and I, like I’ve said, have spent about 10 hours in the car today. Perhaps we could have a more reasonable conversation about this in the morning.
CHRIS
Nobody cares how long you were in the car, lady.
Nobody cares how long you were in the car, lady.
LINDA
I’m afraid we’re going to have to insist on a bed for the night.
I’m afraid we’re going to have to insist on a bed for the night.
CHRIS
This isn’t a hotel. (to Gus) You spoke to this woman?
This isn’t a hotel. (to Gus) You spoke to this woman?
GUS
If you take a look at the deed… she owns the place now. Someone from the land office was supposed to come and talk to you. This is what I was trying to say.
If you take a look at the deed… she owns the place now. Someone from the land office was supposed to come and talk to you. This is what I was trying to say.
(Linda tries to show the deed to Chris.)
LINDA
Here.
Here.
CHRIS
Stop right there. I told you not to come at me with that thing.
Stop right there. I told you not to come at me with that thing.
LINDA
Perhaps if we could all act like adults.
Perhaps if we could all act like adults.
CHRIS
I’m the owner of this property.
I’m the owner of this property.
LINDA
That’s plainly inaccurate at this point. Child-like insistence isn’t going to help you here. This is a legal document. If you take a look at line 4…
CHRIS
Step back.
Step back.
LINDA
Let me show you. (coming at him.)
CHRIS
I’m not looking at your papers.
I’m not looking at your papers.
LINDA
As of June 1st…
(Chris knocks the papers to the ground. Gus picks them up, hands them back to Linda.)
LINDA
Jacob. Will you start unloading the car please? Gus, where’s the master bedroom?
GUS
It’s back that way.
CHRIS
That’s my room.
That’s my room.
LINDA
Not anymore. If you’d like to get something out of there, now would be a good time to do it. (beat) Jacob. (to Chris and Gus.) Perhaps the two of you could share an accommodation for the night? Like I said, Jacob and I are going to need these beds. There are two bedrooms in the house?
GUS
One of them’s empty.
One of them’s empty.
LINDA
Jacob – you can put your things in that room. Gus, will you please show him where it is?
Jacob – you can put your things in that room. Gus, will you please show him where it is?
GUS
It’s in the back.
LINDA
Will you show him please? Let’s go boys, if we could get a move on. I’m eager to get to sleep.
Will you show him please? Let’s go boys, if we could get a move on. I’m eager to get to sleep.
CHRIS
This is my house.
This is my house.
LINDA
Okay. Don’t worry dear, we can talk about it in the morning. For now, let’s just get the sleeping arrangements set for the night.
CHRIS
Get the fuck out of my house!
Get the fuck out of my house!
LINDA
Jacob, I don’t want you to worry about this man, you go right ahead with your business. Gus, you will help him, yes? We would appreciate the hospitality.
CHRIS
Stop. Get out. Is this a joke? Gus? Lady, I don’t know who you are. I’ve lived in this house for 30 years. It’s not for sale. I was just sitting here playing cards.
LINDA
I understand this might come as a bit of a shock. I’d be happy to sit down and explain it to you step by step in the morning.
CHRIS
In the morning? You’re not staying here.
In the morning? You’re not staying here.
LINDA
I assure you that I am.
CHRIS
No you’re not.
No you’re not.
LINDA
-
CHRIS
You’re not!
LINDA
Take a look at this lease, young man.
(She comes at him again with the lease. Chris hits her across the face.)
GUS
(as if to a misbehaving dog) Chris! Goddammit!
(Chris storms out.)
GUS
Are you alright?
LINDA
Keep unloading, Jacob.
Keep unloading, Jacob.
JACOB
Mom – are you okay?
LINDA
Don’t worry about it, Jacob. Keep unloading please.
Don’t worry about it, Jacob. Keep unloading please.
JACOB
Mom-
LINDA
Do as I say, Jacob.
Do as I say, Jacob.
GUS
Are you alright?
LINDA
Give me some space, please.
GUS
Let me take a look at it, see if he broke the skin.
Let me take a look at it, see if he broke the skin.
LINDA
I said to give me some space. Jacob – go to the car and get your things. (he does.) Gus, I need you to make sure that man stays away from this house tonight.
I said to give me some space. Jacob – go to the car and get your things. (he does.) Gus, I need you to make sure that man stays away from this house tonight.
GUS
I can do that. (beat) Not exactly how I imagined our first meeting would go.
I can do that. (beat) Not exactly how I imagined our first meeting would go.
LINDA
You disappointed already, August?
You disappointed already, August?
GUS
Gus.
LINDA
Right. Sorry.
Right. Sorry.
GUS
Someone is going to have to talk to Chris.
Someone is going to have to talk to Chris.
LINDA
That was your job, Gus.
That was your job, Gus.
GUS
No ma’am, I would not have agreed to that. It’s not right for me to have to be the one to tell him. You made it sound as though someone was going to come out here and talk to him.
No ma’am, I would not have agreed to that. It’s not right for me to have to be the one to tell him. You made it sound as though someone was going to come out here and talk to him.
LINDA
Right. You. You were that someone. You were supposed to come out here and let him know I was coming.
GUS
I can’t “come out here.” I live here. Right over there, in that house, up the road.
I can’t “come out here.” I live here. Right over there, in that house, up the road.
LINDA
On the property?
On the property?
GUS
Yes, ma’am.
Yes, ma’am.
LINDA
Don’t call me ma’am.
Don’t call me ma’am.
GUS
(beat) Well, I suppose he knows now.
(beat) Well, I suppose he knows now.
LINDA
You’re going to have to talk to him, Gus. This is what I’ve paid you for.
GUS
-
LINDA
Tell me you’ll help me keep my son safe tonight.
Tell me you’ll help me keep my son safe tonight.
GUS
I’ll help you with your son.
LINDA
Thank you.
3.
(Jacob’s bedroom at night. He lies awake in bed, restless with the sounds of crickets. He gets up and looks around. He hoists himself up and climbs out the window. He stays low to the ground.)
JACOB
(Something catches his attention.)
Dad? Dad?
(a cat appears)
Oh shit. You scared me, cat. Scaredy cat.
(He picks up some dirt. Looks into the darkness, looking for a light or something.)
There’s nowhere to go.
(He lets the dirt fall through his fingers.)
4.
(The next morning, in the kitchen, Linda sits at the table, Gus is standing by the stove, with many different coffee preparation machines: a percolator, a stovetop espresso maker, a French Press, etc.)
GUS
I didn’t know how you take your caffeine.
I didn’t know how you take your caffeine.
LINDA
So, you bought all of these?
So, you bought all of these?
GUS
I tried to get bagels too, but they didn’t have any at the store, so I got English Muffins instead.
LINDA
Bagels?
GUS
That’s what you do in New York, right? Drink a cup of coffee, eat a bagel, read the morning paper?
That’s what you do in New York, right? Drink a cup of coffee, eat a bagel, read the morning paper?
LINDA
So you bought all these different coffee makers? (Gus nods) You drink coffee?
So you bought all these different coffee makers? (Gus nods) You drink coffee?
GUS
Sure. Every morning.
Sure. Every morning.
LINDA
Why don’t you make me a cup the way you make it for yourself?
Why don’t you make me a cup the way you make it for yourself?
GUS
All right.
All right.
(Gus begins to make the coffee. He boils water and heats up a pan.)
LINDA
Is there a hardware store around?
Is there a hardware store around?
GUS
What are you looking to get?
What are you looking to get?
LINDA
I need some soil for a garden.
GUS
Dirt?
Dirt?
LINDA
I’m going to plant a garden in front of the house, to make customers feel welcome. I need the right kind of dirt.
I’m going to plant a garden in front of the house, to make customers feel welcome. I need the right kind of dirt.
GUS
You know what kind you want?
You know what kind you want?
LINDA
Yes.
GUS
And how much?
LINDA
Yes.
Yes.
GUS
Cause I could go get it for you in the truck. That’s normally the kind of work I do around here.
LINDA
That’s very nice of you. Thank you, Gus. I’ll give you some money.
That’s very nice of you. Thank you, Gus. I’ll give you some money.
GUS
No problem. (Gus pulls an egg out of the fridge, cracks it in the pan, and puts the shell in a coffee mug.) So, you think people’ll want to stay here if there’s flowers out front?
No problem. (Gus pulls an egg out of the fridge, cracks it in the pan, and puts the shell in a coffee mug.) So, you think people’ll want to stay here if there’s flowers out front?
LINDA
Sure. A weekend getaway, or a week off from work.
Sure. A weekend getaway, or a week off from work.
GUS
Like, tourists?
Like, tourists?
LINDA
Absolutely. You sell them on the lifestyle, on the environment. And they get to sleep in a lovely bed & breakfast.
Absolutely. You sell them on the lifestyle, on the environment. And they get to sleep in a lovely bed & breakfast.
GUS
Guess it never occurred to me that a tourist would want to come out here. You must get a ton up in New York. What part did you say you’re from?
Guess it never occurred to me that a tourist would want to come out here. You must get a ton up in New York. What part did you say you’re from?
LINDA
Do you know Brooklyn at all?
GUS
I know about it. I been once, I know that.
I know about it. I been once, I know that.
LINDA
You were in Brooklyn?
You were in Brooklyn?
GUS
I was up in New York and I got on the wrong train and I ended up in Brooklyn.
LINDA
We’re from Brooklyn Heights.
GUS
Rough neighborhood?
Rough neighborhood?
LINDA
No.