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DELETED SCENES FROM THE LOVE
OF JOHN SMITH AND POCAHONTAS
A short play of Savage Love.
Commission by America-In-Play, Lynn Thomson, Founder. Presented as a reading at the Tribeca Performing Arts Center.
1. – ROMANCE
(In the dark. We hear them moving around.)
POCAHONTAS
Mmm
JOHN SMITH
Ooo. Yeah. That’s it. Right there.
POCAHONTAS
That’s good?
JOHN SMITH
Hmmm
POCAHONTAS
You like that do you?
JOHN SMITH
Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh
POCAHONTAS
What do you want now?
JOHN SMITH
I want you to talk to me baby.
POCAHONTAS
You want me to talk to you?
JOHN SMITH
Yeah.
POCAHONTAS
What do you want me to say, huh? You want me to talk to you?
JOHN SMITH
Yeah. Tell me you want it.
POCAHONTAS
You know I want it baby. You know I need it. Huh? What else you want me to say? Hmmm, baby? What else you want?
JOHN SMITH
I want you to tell me how wild it makes you.
POCAHONTAS
And then you’re gonna give it to me? Huh? You gonna give it to me good?
JOHN SMITH
Yeah, tell me it makes you crazy. Does it make you crazy girl? Huh? You like that? Tell me it makes you crazy.
POCAHONTAS
Yeah. Oooo, I want it so bad. You make me crazy baby. Ooooo. You make me go wild.
JOHN SMITH
Yeah, but instead of ooooo, go like, Heeyaw! Heeyaw!
POCAHONTAS
Hi-yeah, give it to me. Hey yes.
JOHN SMITH
No No, like HeeYAW! HeeYAW!
POCAHONTAS
I don’t get it.
JOHN SMITH
Hee Yaw! Hee Yaw! Ooooouuuuuu! Like a wolf.
POCAHONTAS
OOOOOooooooooooo, like that? You like that baby?
JOHN SMITH
No, I mean like crazy, I want you to go like crazy Indian-style on me baby. I want like Heee heee heee yaw! yaw! Like crazy crazy Hiawatha! Hee hee hee YAW! YAW! I want you to get down, I want you to tell me you like it the way I do it, I want you to go crazy, I want you to be the pussy that made my trip over here worth while, I want you to be pure. Tell me there’s no such thing as ownership so I can make your ass mine. I want you to look uncomfortable in my mother’s clothing, to trip when you try to wear high heels, I want you to be wild – I want you to bring out the wild in me. I want to kill your brothers to show you I’m stronger, I want it to be wild, I want it to be worth a war, I want them to kill me over you, I want them to write songs about John Smith the mighty explorer and his healthy rod generations from now. I want it to be special, I want it to be at the end of a rainbow. I want it to be…
(She scalps him.)
POCAHONTAS
Heeyaw!
JOHN SMITH
Ow. What the fuck was that? Did you just scalp me?
POCAHONTAS
Mmm hmm
JOHN SMITH
Are you serious?
POCAHONTAS
Yes.
JOHN SMITH
That’s so fucking hot.
(He comes.)
Oh my god, that’s just what I wanted.
You’re so good to me.
I’d be nothing without you.
Why do you love me?
POCAHONTAS
I show you a hole in the ground and you think it’s magic. You’re so predictable, it’s pathetic, I keep thinking it’s going to wear off and you’ll do something surprising, but I always know what you’re going to do before you…
(John Smith is snoring.)
I..
(more snoring.)
You..
(Snor.)
I knew this would happen.
John, wake up.
Asshole.
2. THE FLING
POCAHONTAS
(flinging herself on the ground in a “maiden” fashion)
Ah!
JOHN SMITH
That’s pretty good. I think you got it.
POCAHONTAS
(standing up)
Yeah?
JOHN SMITH
Yeah, people in England will go crazy for it.
POCAHONTAS
You think?
JOHN SMITH
They’ll call it the “Pocahontas fling,” I bet. It’ll sweep the nation.
POCAHONTAS
Cool.
JOHN SMITH
We’ll tell them that the British soldiers were advancing into the Indian village, fighting the savages with their bows and arrows, when a fatal shot was delivered to the chest of Chief Powhatan-
POCAHONTAS
-Dad-
JOHN SMITH
-Right, Dad. And as he lay there dying, his beautiful daughter, Pocahontas –
POCAHONTAS
-Me-
JOHN SMITH
-Right, you. You flung yourself onto his dying body. You screamed for mercy and he whispered something mysterious in your ear.
POCAHONTAS
That’s good. (she flings herself) Ah!
JOHN SMITH
Yeah. You got it.
POCAHONTAS
What do you think he whispered in my ear?
JOHN SMITH
Some mysterious Indian secret.
POCAHONTAS
Like the secret to life or something like that, right?
JOHN SMITH
Right. And we’ll never know it, because you can’t bear to repeat it. And it wouldn’t make sense in our language anyway.
POCAHONTAS
That’s good. I still don’t think it’s quite right though.
JOHN SMITH
No, c’mon. It’s perfect!
POCAHONTAS
We can do better.
JOHN SMITH
Like what?
POCAHONTAS
What if… what if… …. Oh..oooo… oooo oooo, I got it!
JOHN SMITH
What?
POCAHONTAS
What if I fling myself on you and save your life?
JOHN SMITH
Save my life from who? From Indians running around in their loin cloths?
POCAHONTAS
Just hear me out. You are the first Brit to go snooping around in the woods in this new continent, right?
JOHN SMITH
(skeptical) right…
POCAHONTAS
So, we’ve got you surrounded. It’s our turf. You’re crazy out-numbered, like a hundred of us descend upon you or something.
So, we’ve got you surrounded. It’s our turf. You’re crazy out-numbered, like a hundred of us descend upon you or something.
JOHN SMITH
Yeah…
POCAHONTAS
We take you back into the camp. We do some religious ceremony on you and we tie you up and then we’re going to kill you, to sacrifice you to our savage gods, but right when my father gives the order for you to die, right when they have their tomahawks raised into the air, I save your life with..
JOHN SMITH
The Pocahontas fling.
POCAHONTAS
Bingo. Throw myself on you and beg daddy to let you live.
JOHN SMITH
Wow. That’s good.
POCAHONTAS
Right?
JOHN SMITH
Yeah, it’s more complicated. Multi-layered. This way this fling like, reveals something about every one of us, about violence and heroism, stuff like that. You’re a smart cookie.
POCAHONTAS
Duh.
JOHN SMITH
No wonder I like you.
POCAHONTAS
Yeah.
(pause)
I wonder how you’ll die for real.
JOHN SMITH
Nobody dies in the story.
POCAHONTAS
Right. You almost die. But, we’ll die for real.
JOHN SMITH
That’s right I suppose. Where do you want to die?
POCAHONTAS
I don’t know. Some place pretty I guess.
JOHN SMITH
That sounds good. (pause) Kiss?
POCAHONTAS
Yeah.
(they kiss.)
3 – DEAD, FOLKS
(Pocahontas and John Smith are dead. Pocahontas is sitting in a nice room by herself. John Smith comes in from outside and hangs his coat up. )
JOHN SMITH
Hey.
POCAHONTAS
(depressed) Hey.
JOHN SMITH
What’s wrong, baby?
POCAHONTAS
It sucks being dead.
JOHN SMITH
No. C’mon. I was just hanging out with John Lennon.
POCAHONTAS
Maybe it’s fun if you’re British.
JOHN SMITH
What are you talking about? All your brothers and sisters are here. Your dad’s around here somewhere, right?
POCAHONTAS
Everybody’s here. But, I don’t want to be with everybody else. I’m a queen!
JOHN SMITH
Well, we got our special place in the afterworld. It ain’t bad.
POCAHONTAS
Humph.
JOHN SMITH
What’s wrong for real?
POCAHONTAS
Another application came in.
JOHN SMITH
For a movie?
POCAHONTAS
Yeah.
JOHN SMITH
So, that’s great news. We still electrify the hearts and minds of the people! Fantastic. America’s Romeo and Juliet. It’s you and your fling idea, that’s what really pushed us over the top.
POCAHONTAS
It’s Disney.
JOHN SMITH
Nothing wrong with Disney, honey. All press is good press. At least they’re talking.
POCAHONTAS
No. They always make it sound like you’re so great, like I’m some stupid girl.
JOHN SMITH
I don’t think so. I think the movies are insightful.
POCAHONTAS
That’s cause you’re an idiot.
That’s cause you’re an idiot.
JOHN SMITH
Well, what do you want?
POCAHONTAS
I want someone to make a movie called Matoaka.
JOHN SMITH
Why?
POCAHONTAS
It’s my name!
JOHN SMITH
That’s not how fame works, baby.
POCAHONTAS
Well I think fame sucks.
Well I think fame sucks.
JOHN SMITH
Hey. It got us this couch. It got us this nice place. They’re still making movies about us. We’re part of the story – they’ve got to talk about us every Thanksgiving – that’s residuals, that ain’t bad.
POCAHONTAS
I want them to talk about us on Valentine’s Day.
JOHN SMITH
There’s a lot of material for Valentine’s Day sweetheart.
POCAHONTAS
Besides, who says I want to spend the rest of eternity living here with you.
JOHN SMITH
Oh. I see. It’s about me, huh?
POCAHONTAS
I just saying, I want to be my own person.
JOHN SMITH
Hey, you can leave if you want.
POCAHONTAS
And what? Spend the rest of the eternity with the other Indians? Please.
JOHN SMITH
So what do you want?
POCAHONTAS
I want people to know that I’m an explorer too. I want people to know that I went to England and met the Queen. I went to see plays, I wore ball gowns, I had a child. How come I spend eternity here with you and not with John Rolfe. He was my love. He was cuter than you.
JOHN SMITH
Don’t put this shit on me.
POCAHONTAS
Oh, cause you’d be here without me?
JOHN SMITH
That’s right.
POCAHONTAS
Cause of, “He who does not work will not eat”? You think that makes you famous?
JOHN SMITH
First bit of philosophy spoken in America, babe.
POCAHONTAS
John, do you realize that they’re going to give Anna Nicole Smith a better place than us?
JOHN SMITH
I was hoping they’d put her next door.
POCAHONTAS
You’re a pig.
JOHN SMITH
A free pig. Til death do us part.
POCAHONTAS
Oink Oink, Pig boy.
JOHN SMITH
So what do you want? A moment of silence?
POCAHONTAS
Yes. In my honor. A moment of honor for Matoaka.
JOHN SMITH
Alright.
(pause)
Was that it?
POCAHONTAS
No. Ready?
JOHN SMITH
Yup.
POCAHONTAS
Okay. For Matoaka.
(they take a moment.)
(John Smith sighs.)